December 12, 2010 (Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe)

KOCI Radio Probes for Inspiration, Clues to Overcoming Family Conflicts

BROADCASTERS FROM RADIO STATION KOCI 101.5 FM in Costa Mesa, California, asked author John Paul Godges about the inspiration for his family memoir and about any “nuggets” it contains for those struggling with family conflicts over the holidays.

Interviewing Godges on November 28, three days after Thanksgiving, radio host Barry Jorgensen and parenting expert Elizabeth Giglio prodded Godges to reveal how his parents had remained together for 61 years despite their irreconcilable differences. It was particularly fascinating to Jorgensen that the author’s father had been able to stay married for more than six decades despite having come from a broken home himself.

There are “three good nuggets,” Godges responded. “One is, don’t underestimate those whom you can understand the least, and that goes for couples as well as for members of your own family. Sometimes, the people we have the greatest disagreements and difficulties with end up being the most important people in our lives if we can just stick it out for, oh, 10 or 20 or 30 years. So be patient with one another.”

Secondly, he said, “One thing that has held us together as a family, generation after generation, has been the rejection of individualism run amok. By rejecting that impulse at key moments in time, that’s when we’ve been able to reconcile our differences.”

Thirdly, “I would never underestimate the importance of forgiveness—within our own relationships, within our own families and extended families, and also within the community organizations to which we belong. And that would extend to our religious traditions as well as to our civic organizations and state and national governments.”

Upon reflection after the interview, Godges condensed his nuggets even further. “My parents have always said it comes down to one word: faith. Their faith has kept them together. I believe their faith has made it more possible for them to do all three things: to be patient with each other, to put aside their agendas, and to forgive each other.”


The 12-minute KOCI interview can be heard by pressing the play button below. The first six minutes discuss the inspiration for the book. The last six minutes discuss the secrets to overcoming family conflicts. The knob can be positioned to play anywhere.